Owning Your Power
Take ownership of your life and choose a path of purpose.
Growing up, I didn’t have a clear path in mind for my future. Like many, I was influenced by societal expectations, believing a fulfilling life involved getting married and having children.
I achieved half of that plan – getting married at the young age of 19 – however, I was unable to have children. This was a significant setback to the future I imagined for myself.
That painful disruption to my life plan made me realize that the vision I had accepted wasn’t truly mine - it was shaped by what society considered ‘normal’ at the time. I assumed everything would fall into place as expected. When things didn’t go as planned, I was forced to reassess my path and take control of my own future.
This is when I began learning to own my power.
What Does It Mean to Own Your Power?
Owning your power means embracing the responsibility of making purposeful decisions about your life. Notice I said YOUR life. It's not about having power over others, but rather about controlling your actions, choices, and responses.
The concept of responsibility can sometimes carry negative connotations, often stemming from childhood experiences. However, being responsible for your decisions is incredibly empowering. It demonstrates your capability to think through your choices and potential consequences and make your own decisions.
The Risks of Giving Your Power Away
When you base your decisions on external validation - seeking approval from others or conforming to societal norms - you unknowingly surrender your power. Many of us have fallen into this pattern at some point, making decisions driven by the desire to fit in or be accepted.
This tendency is often ingrained in childhood, where adult approval was necessary for nearly every action. You learned certain rules and expectations about how you should act and what is acceptable or not. However, carrying this mindset into adulthood can prevent you from living in alignment with who you are and who God created you to be.
Signs You’ve Given Away Your Power
To determine whether you've relinquished control of your decisions, take a moment for honest self-reflection. Examine the true motives behind your choices. For example:
Surface Motive: You followed someone else’s advice because it aligns with your values.
True Motive: You followed the advice because you feared making an unpopular decision.
Surface Motive: You stayed quiet in a meeting to allow others the opportunity to contribute.
True Motive: You remained silent because you were concerned your ideas would be met with resistance.
Surface Motive: You declined a family event because of a busy schedule.
True Motive: You avoided the event to sidestep uncomfortable conversations, rather than setting clear boundaries.
In each of these cases, the underlying motive is driven by external factors—approval, fear, or comfort. Reclaiming your power involves making decisions based on your authentic self, not on others' expectations or judgments.
Reframing Responsibility
Another common way we undermine our power is by reframing bad decisions as "mistakes." If you are aware that an action is wrong, but you do it anyway, it is not a mistake - it’s a decision. Own it.
When you own your decisions, both positive and negative, it reinforces the fact that you are in control of your actions and strengthens your sense of accountability.
On the other hand, when you let yourself off the hook by calling it a mistake, you are subconsciously weakening your power and diminishing your ability to learn and grow from those experiences.
How to Own Your Power
Owning your power begins with a deep understanding of who you are and what you truly value. When you know yourself – your beliefs, strengths, and what drives you – you can make decisions that align with your authentic self. This clarity builds confidence and empowers you to live with courage.
Start by exploring these foundational questions:
What are your core values? What principles guide your decisions and actions in both your personal and professional life?
How have your experiences shaped you? Reflect on the challenges you've faced and the lessons they’ve taught you. How have they influenced your worldview?
What is your greater purpose? What brings you a sense of fulfillment and allows you to use your strengths meaningfully?
By understanding and embracing these parts of yourself, you'll be able to make empowered decisions that align with who you are at your core, allowing you to live a more authentic and fulfilling life.
Redefining Your Vision
When my original plan of becoming a mother was disrupted, it felt devastating. Like many, I believed that having children was essential for living a meaningful and "normal" life. However, when that wasn’t possible, it became a pivotal moment that forced me to explore new avenues for fulfillment. I began to redefine what a meaningful life meant to me, moving away from conventional norms and opening myself up to new possibilities.
In doing so, I embraced my power. Today, I lead a life that is far more fulfilling and purpose-driven than the one I initially envisioned.
Owning your power isn’t always easy, but it is essential. By taking responsibility for your decisions and charting your own path, you unlock the potential to live a life of meaning and impact.
Next Steps?
Ready to step into your power and gain clarity on who you truly are? Let’s work together to uncover your strengths, values, and purpose. Join my Get Unstuck & Live Your Purpose group coaching program, where we’ll unlock your potential and help you build a life that reflects your authentic self.